I’m three years out.
THREE YEARS OUT… and in the midst of my normal, happy, sane life I am reminded of just how far I have come in that time.
Yesterday, I received two anonymous letters in my mailbox. They were addressed to me with my maiden name, and mailed to my new home address. They had no return address. Inside each envelope was a card, with a folded sheet of computer paper inside.
These print-outs read:
“How well do you know “The Narcissist”?
- Do you know he is a gamer?
- Do you know he meets young girls on those games?
- Do you know he has been talking to a 18 yr old girl for 3 years?
- Do you know he mailed her a phone to manipulate her?
- Do you know he convinced this girl to run away from home?
- Do you know he is planning on marrying her?
- Do you know he started talking to her when she was 15 and he was 30?
- Do you know he claims his whole family is dead?
- Do you know that “The Narcissist” is a child predator?
And there is so much more to tell….”
My initial reactions to reading this were quite a mix. At first at felt fear and vulnerability realizing that someone knew my maiden name, home address, and that I had previous connections to him. Then I talked through it with my person and realized that all of that can be found with about 15 minutes of Googling. Next, I felt sick. Sick to my stomach for this girl and for her family. Then, I felt an enormous pang of guilt. I sat on my kitchen counter sobbing to my person about how terrible I feel that I didn’t do more to send him to jail, to have his crimes documented, to do everything I could humanly do so that he could not do this to another girl.
Am I shocked by what is in this letter? Not at all. I am horrified that this poor girl was 15 years old when she fell under his spell. Someone that young is so impressionable, so naïve, so much easier to manipulate. It makes perfect sense that he would start targeting younger and younger girls.
Whoever sent me these letters did not leave any way for me to contact them. My only clue to any of this is that the postage mark on the envelope was from Boise, Idaho. My best guess is that the family of this girl is sending out these letters trying in any way that they can to reach out to people who might still have contact with him. I am sure they are desperate. I am sure they are scared…. and my heart is breaking for them.
I hope that somehow through the magic of the internet, that they find their way to this blog.
To whomever sent me this letter:
I do not have any contact with The Narcissist. I have not had any contact with him since our divorce hearing almost three years ago. I know personally that he is capable of all of the things you listed in this letter. I am so incredibly sorry for what you are going through. If there is anything I could do to help your daughter, I would. If you somehow find this post and find this blog, please reach out to me. I happy to share my story with you, I want to help.