Sometimes just when all of the puzzle pieces are falling into place and everything feels right in your world you have a completely and totally unexpected run in with The Narcissist.
Mine happened today… in one of my safe and well-known places… Whole Foods. I was literally rounding a corner and almost got hit with the carriage of the person rounding the corner from the other aisle… I looked up, and it was The Narcissist.
My gut reaction was “deer-in-the-headlights” wtf is happening right now. I said “Hey” glanced down at the ground and made a bee-line for the cashier. None of the cashiers were immediately open so I tried to pick the quickest line, texted my best friend 50 times, sweated profusely, took a lot of deep breaths and got into my car and drove straight home. I frantically called my best friend and my sister and wasn’t getting anyone on the line which was causing me to panic even more than the run in. Eventually I got my people on the phone and talked it out a bit and calmed down the total sense of the earth shifting that was happening to me. It was like a punch in the gut reminder that he is still nearby and I could run-into him at any point in time. Totally unexpected. Totally shitty.
It’s been over a year since I have even had any text communication with him, so this one really caught me off guard. Ick!
So I guess this is just a friendly reminder that while sometimes the healing process works out really nice and linear and everything happens… sometimes you also get smacked in the face with reality and come home and take a tequila shot. No one is perfect, and at least over here at divorcinganarcissistblog… there’s no judgement!
So now, my person is coming over and I am pretty thankful for that. ❤ Looking forward to talking this one out and getting some love and support and reminded that I am safe and all is okay in the world.
For the record, you do not lose the urge to punch them in their “perfect” nose job face… even over a year later.
❤
Divorcing a Narcissist Blog 
This 👉”For the record, you do not lose the urge to punch them in their “perfect” nose job face… even over a year later” made me laugh😂. #pleadingthe5th
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That picture is spectacular for this. 🙂
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First, triggers are great – a new level of healing is about to begin. I’m well aware in myself that if I physically saw the narcissist again (he lives 1200k away) I would be right back in that state where he wanted me and it would be a very strong rush of physical addiction to not feel what he programmed me to feel. They know that. Love and rushes and dramas – oh so intoxicating once upon a time.
Second, odds are he’s hoovering you if he knows you shop there. Be on the lookout for the after hoover text. I’m extremely suspicious but hopefully there are no avenues for him to hoover. Old mate HG Tudor would say (if it was a total coincidence) that you have come into his sphere of influence and to expect one. Keep us posted! 🙂
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Oh my gosh, I LOVE this! I could literally feel what you were feeling. You think you’re all “superwoman” then bam, you see them out in public and your heart sinks. And then you pull out the wine or whatever your drink of choice is. I have been divorced from mine for almost 7 months and separated for 10. But still….especially since he is in law enforcement, when I see a cop car, or any charger that remotely looks like his…I panic. I wish this feeling would just go away. I hate it. But it’s good to know I’m not crazy either. Thanks for sharing.
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White vans still do it for me! and six years later….
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Oh dear! I am just starting the separation and had a similar experience only after a few weeks of getting rid of him. I was sweating, panic mode on, wanting to run away in the opposite direction!
Still have to deal with seeing him again to officially end things and am totally not looking forward to it.
At least your reaction, even a year later, proves that you made the right choice by moving on with your life as clearly he was no good for you at all if that reaction is still there after all that time.
Hope it makes you stronger x
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This is exactly what I am working so hard to avoid. My ex chose to keep our family house after the divorce, so he “lives” in town on the weekends – and possibly more than that now that he’s remarried to the girlfriend he moved into the house only weeks after the kids and I vacated.
The thought of running into him, or her for that matter (God help me), makes me sick to my stomach and causes me such anxiety that I can’t even begin to describe it. In the beginning, I honestly almost had a nervous breakdown and had symptoms of PTSD. Just trying to go to the grocery store, the dry cleaners, a favorite restaurant or even drive down my usual streets would make me shake and have a panic attack. I would end up sobbing. I was a mess.
The saddest part about it all, is that people that have never experienced it don’t really understand it, so they think you’re overreacting or being dramatic. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had someone say “you should just go there and mark your territory, it’s your town not his – or hers” or “what do you really think would happen if you did run into him? Would it really be that terrible?” They just don’t get what it does to you mentally and emotionally.
It also makes your world so much smaller when they live in close proximity, the constant feeling of looking over your shoulder, scanning the parking lots, scanning the restaurant before you even think to sit down.
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I moved over three hundred miles away from my narcissist ex-husband so I hope that I never run into him. EVER.
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I️ hope that’s far enough!!! Unfortunately mind decided to stick around my home location instead of going back to where he came from. 😦
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Unfortunately, Hell wouldn’t take mine. hahahaha so Arkansas has him.
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My narc ex was only in the area because of a job, so when things ended, and he was 150+ miles away I could breathe. Blocked him on all forms of social media after I did a love bomb/devalue/discard of my own. I recently went to check on my blocks, make sure he hadn’t made other accounts to get around them. Didn’t even see the blocks I put up in the first place because he deleted those accounts. Great! So I do a Google search, and see that he’s landed another job very close to where I live. The chances of running into him are slim, but he knows my routine and could, if he wanted to, pop up. I try to not think about it much, because I don’t know what I would do if he showed up anywhere I was.
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hope you are doing ok
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You can definitely see your expertise in the paintings you write. The world hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. Always go after your heart.
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